What do you ask of me? What do you require?
Do you want my attention?
Do you want my hands?
Do you want my heart and my mind?
How have I filled my life with things, so that my hands were not free to grasp the thing you offered?
How have I filled my life with noise, and missed hearing your voice?
How have I filled my life with business, and didn’t accept your gentle gracious invitation?
What do want from me, Lord? What do you require?
did you read my previous remarks on this subject? (part one)
part two is actually covered by some remarks i made the other night here : People who want to appeal to “absolute truth” (or just Truth, with a capital T) might consider the comparative benefits of pursuing the value of Openness - which I have provisionally defined as my commitment to always ensure (to the best of my ability) that there is space for people around me to speak. While Absolute Truth is proving to be hard to nail down, Growing Awareness is a spiritual discipline that might produce surprisingly good results for people longing after Truth…
ok, so part three…
I’ve been following a discussion about a how three influential leaders of a ministry called “Exodus” - which was committed to helping Gay and Lesbain people “come out” of a homosexual lifestyle - have publically withdrawn from the work, stating that they no longer believe that it is healthy to try to change people’s sexual orientation… If you’re interested in reading further: go here
One of the common arguments amongst Christians who have accepted that Gay and Lesbian people really do have a different sexual orientation is the “Love the sinner, Hate the sin” position. (other’s take the position that there is no such thing as a homosexual orientation - otherwise you have to explain why God would have created people like that!)
But I’m wondering how I can separate “homosexual orientation” from “homosexual activity”? i mean, what is a sexual orientation if it’s not (at some point) going to be acted upon?
have you noticed how powerful Silence can be. I’m still not sure if he/she is a friend or foe! Silence creates space and makes room for rest and re-creation. but Silence is also a sneaky accomplice to heinous crimes of the worst kind…
my life if full of words - and speaking. sometimes i think i’m paid to speak. and sometimes i think I’m jsut plain full of myself “and love the sound of my own voice”. either way, Silence is the best medicine. She allows me to retreat to a place of solitude where I am able to rest and be restored in the Values that I have confidence in. She is gracious and gentle - imagine, not having to say anything! What a relief when so much of my life is judged by what I say and how convincing I sound and how entertaining i am… etc…
but Silence has a dark side. I know of many people who are in unsafe relationships but feel trapped - fearful of the consequences of breaking the silence and speaking about what is happening.
Cate Jenna took her first breath at 28 minutes past midnight - in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Elaine was amazing. She laboured through the contractions with great courage for 6 hours and then gave birth naturally. I am grateful that everything went so well - so well indeed that we were home by 2pm that same day! While one can’t say that it was easy, in many ways, the birth went smoothly and Mother and Daughter are healthy and thriving. Giving birth, while a beautifully natural process, is also a potentially dangerous thing with so many painful possibilities… many friends have experienced these dangers. I am grateful!
Last night Ruben and I were playing around the house while we were waiting for the braai-fire to be ready. We found a balloon and began kicking it around the house. I thought of a great game. I suggested we start at the one end of the kitchen and then kick the balloon and see how many kicks it required to get it to hit the Kitchen door.
I started: one, two, THREE!!!!! I took three kicks to get the balloon across the kitchen.
Then it was Ruben’s turn. (more…)
i have been thinking lately about how little we really actually change. I began writing on this blog with the value of Integrity as a theme. By Integrity, I mean an integration of all the things that have been broken, separated and polarised - at great expense to the health of humanity (well, let’s just say, at great expence to my health adn wholeness).
One could say this thing about being “open” and “real” is a bit of “hobby-horse” - it’s my little soap-box.
And then the other day I remembered an experience from my early childhood. My family were in the car on the way to church, where my parents were quite involved members. My dad was a senior leader… He and I were having an argument in the car which was not resolved when we arrived at the church. He wanted to stop the argument as we got out of the car, but I wanted to carry on arguing - citing “honesty” as my reason… “if we’re going to shout at each other in the privacy of our car, why shouldn’t we shout at each other in front of fellow church members?”
(by the way, the photo is not me - it’s of my dad, Guy Marshall)
I remembered that incident with such vividness, and the effect was to make me ask - has anything really changed? I’m still on about the same old hobby-horse that I was when I was a teenager, 25 years ago!!!
But then I had another thought - is this my Voice? Is this the thing that I’m being asked to say, with my life?
Perhaps for some people this message simply isn’t relevant. They are healthy and balanced in the area of Integrity and so they find my dwelling on the topic a little anonying. But perhaps, for people who have struggled with the Dualism that has severed their lives (and all of life) into binary categories of good and evil, right and wrong, light and dark, private and public etc.. - this is the word of encouragement that they need to hear. Perhaps, also, there are faith communities, that need to hear this word. A challenge to wholeness and integrity, where faith and life, religion and politics, secular and sacred… have been dangerously kept apart…
Am I finally realising my humble significance in this life - not to do extraordinarily great things - just to speak (live) the message that I’ve been asked to speak/live, to embody a value that many of us need to embrace, to bring a gentle challenge in one aspect of life where there is imbalance and unhealth?
am I discovering my Voice? (my dad would say I discovered it far too early…!!!)
what I like about the idea of finding my voice is that it helps me to have a limited, and therefore hopefully a humble view of my significance. the thought also makes me wonder about other people’s Voices? People I respect and admire - I wonder if they have discovered their Voice… Perhaps they are speaking, but are yet to stumble on the simple realisation that this is the thing they are called to say…
Have you discovered your Voice? (and, do you feel confidence to speak with it?)
my son ruben is teaching me again…
elaine and I shower in the mornings. Ruben is becoming mommy and daddy’s little helper… when he hears the water stop he runs into the bathroom shouting “Doek! Doek!” (that’s afrikaans for “towel”.) He gets the towel off the rail and hands it to us… Cute!
more interesting, i was lying in bed this morning… elaine finished showering and I realised that ruben wasn’t around. Without a second thought I asked: “Elaine, can I get you a towel?”
if you ask my partner about what get’s me out of bed in the morning, she’ll tell you that there’s not much… and yet a small little routine of my son managed to move me from my comfort.
we should give some thought to the tension between Performance and Principle - where “performance” refers to the actual practice of an activity and “Principle” refers to the theory or value or motivation that supports the activity.
for a long time, i’ve been taught (and was fairly convinced) that no real “outer” change can happen without an initial “inner” change of the heart. fair enough. the theory makes sense. you have to get the Principle in place, in order to motivate the Practice…. you have to have your heart touched in order to reach out your hand in kindness… or do you?
ruben’s little “doek” routine - and it’s infectiousness - suggests that getting into a rhythm of Practice may be more effective than grasping the Principle behind it… maybe we should try getting into a Routine of Kindness and see how that affects our Theory (Principle) - and our Heart, for that matter…
(Aiden remarked, when reading another story that he “looked forward to turning the page”… so, with his encouragement, here is page 2…)
did you know that the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures use the phrases “do not fear” and “do not be afraid” 113 times!!! (those same scriptures use the phrase “love God” only 5 times…) So let’s make a humble assumption - spirituality that takes the Bible (meaning the Hebrew and Christian scriptures) seriously will be a spirituality that is Peace-producing. Essentially, I’m assuming that Biblical Spirituality will echo this sentiment - do not fear, do not be afraid, do not worry, etc.
the Christian scriptures tell us that Jesus is the “prince of peace” (i’m assuming that means that if anyone is going to bring peace it will be him..) it also tells us that “perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18) and goes on to make a clear observation: “for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.”
the thing that I struggle with is that the “good news” that many Christians offer is highly fearful. The common story goes something like this: God created you. Things were good until you messed up. You sinned and God was angry. You had broken his Law. Justice was required so someone had to die. It would have been you (and it might still be if you don’t…) but Jesus died in your place to “absorb the wrath of God” (John Piper). To return to right relationship with God, you must repent and believe (presumably that Jesus died for you) so that eternal punishment can be avoided. If you do, God’s anger is avoided and heaven awaits. If you don’t, the just punishment for your sins will be your reward - that’s hell. (If “God is Love” he certainly has a big investment in fear and punishment in the universe…)
so here’s a question: what motivates your faith in God? why are you a Christian? is it to avoid the fires of hell - an eternal punishment? as I’ve indicated here i am an unapologetic follower of Jesus. I am willing to associate myself with him in every way. but I am simply not happy to associate myself with this common version of the Christian Story any longer. I think that there is another story which is desperately needing to be told - needing to be heard.
(some quick reasons why the new story needs to be heard:
1. i don’t think that the common version is doing our Great God of Grace justice!
2. many good, thinking, moral, faithful, did i mention good, people are simply not able to fathom a God who is so petty and, instead of looking deeper into the faith tradition, are choosing to live as moral atheists rather than associate with such a paper-thin version of a Creator God.
3. it is Fear Producing - which is exactly the opposite of what Biblical faith is supposed to do. Where is the peace? Where is the confidence?)
Here’s to another story! (I don’t call it a new story because I would like to argue that this other story has been around longer than the common one!!! it’s the old story, needing rediscovery)
my understanding of Jesus was that he chose to live and teach in the tradition of the Hebrew prophetic tradition - most significantly, the prophetic vision of Isaiah. His first public teaching in a synagogue involved a reading from Isaiah 61 (Luke 4:16) - a moving, inspiring vision about the “Year of the Lord’s favour”. (the interesting thing is that the phrase “and a day of vengeance for our God” - Is 61:2 - is omitted in Luke) This prophetic tradition includes moving passages about the coming of the Messiah who will bring peace - when the Lion will lie down with the Lamb (Isaiah 11)… perhaps the most moving passage for me is found in Isaiah chapter 2:
Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob;
that he may teach us his ways
and that we may walk in his paths.’
For out of Zion shall go forth instruction,
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He shall judge between the nations,
and shall arbitrate for many peoples;
they shall beat their swords into ploughshares,
and their spears into pruning-hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war any more.
These are the passages that I believe inform the ministry of Jesus. When he speaks about the “Kingdom of Heaven”, I believe he is talking about this kind of Kin’dom… where Peace is found to be stronger than force, where love is eternal and cannot die…
In the light of these (biblical) observations, I want to encourage those who are dissatisfied with the common story to begin to consider Alternatives. I believe there are many other stories on offer in the Christian Scriptures. Paul’s writings do contain much that supports the common version, but he also transcends those thoughts in some of his writings, focusing more on the theme of Reconciliation. See 2 Corinthians 5:16-21. (I realise that it is possible to use this passage to underscore the common version of Christianity.) I believe it is possible to interpret this passage in a way that appeals to Loving Relationship as a motivation for Faith… (perhaps the topic of Page 3…) The Gospels are the best place to look though, because the parables and the ministry of Jesus are still being processed by the authors. The Gospel writers certainly include their own interpretations in the re-telling of the stories (which explains some of the differences in the four gospels) but the interpretation can be said to be “in process”. This gives us a glimpse into the early Christian community of people who were not called “Christians” - they were simply people of faith who had decided to follow the teachings of Jesus. They were best described as “those belonging to the Way” (acts 9:2)
What are some of the attributes that I think Another Story might include?
1. i think it must choose to be faithful to the teaching and example of Jesus. this might involve a revisiting of the gospels and a decision to take Jesus at his word. or as Albert Nolan says to “take Jesus seriously”.
2. surely it must work out a new motivation for Faith. If we aren’t following Jesus to “avoid hell and earn our ticket into heaven”, what will be our primary reason for following? it might return to a much more wholistic understanding of the word “believe” which embraces the whole self, heart, will, mind, body, in place of a modern understanding of the word which reduces believing to mental (intellectual?) agreement. To say “I believe in Jesus” would be more akin to saying “I commit my whole self to Jesus”.
3. it must strive to be all-embracing, not sectarian but able to embrace variety so that it can become a story of Peace and Unity. surely if God’s Kin’dom is going to be eternal we’re going to have to live side-by-side then… why not start finding a way to live together now…?
4. it might formulate a different understanding of authority. for instance, it may choose to view the Spirit of scripture as a higher authority than the historical written text. This might include the recognition that not everything that is biblical is consistent with the teaching of Jesus i.e. Christian
5. Another Story might re-emphasize the importance of being good - what Jesus meant when he spoke about the fruit that a tree bears. the Common Story has used the Fear of God (of hell) to motivate people into believing, and has unwittingly encouraged people to “believe” at all costs, but has paid too little attention on the thing that Jesus asked us to do: “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28) disciples are learners, and presumably that means learners of The Way. Evidencing the Fruit of the Spirit - the signs of a transforming life - will become the essence of Another Story.
What do you think might be some of the attributes of Another Story? OR, what would you LIKE to see being addressed by a different kind of Spirituality? (that you feel has been neglected by the Common Version of Christianity in your experience?)
i enjoyed reading Matt’s comments on prayer: Prayer: What’s the point and also some of the comments he received. While I find engagement with so-called “Atheists” energising and fascinating (they have usually thought abour their position far more thoroughly than most Theists have…) I am always curious about the experience of defining oneself by a negation - A-Theist… i.e. NOT-Theist. As a Christ-follower I define myself by what I am for. I am for the values that are embodied in the life and teaching of Jesus. An Atheist, presumably believes in something. I’m curious to know what an “A-Theist” has faith in (it’s not God, of course…)
here are my thoughts, posted on Matt’s blog:
you guys certainly spend a lot of time (and much passion) arguing against something that you regard as pointless.i think it’s pointless to argue against something that is pointless.
i’m wondering what you are FOR. how would you define your position if it weren’t for religion? i.e. what is an “atheist” without theism?
have you factored into your reasoning the role of experience? for some, REALITY is not primarily constituted by physical existence alone. when i speak to you i have FAITH that there is something out there that i am interacting with. I have no proof of that. it could all be part of my own dream. but what I can’t deny is the EXPERIENCE of interaction, conversation, relationship. i would argue that my conversation with you and Prayer require exactly the same kind of “faith” - neither of them are more real or provable than the other.
the more significant thing for me is: what do i experience through the act of communication… (whether it is with you or with “God”)
i am enjoying writing this comment. it helps me to clarify my own position and it holds the possibility of surprising conversation (a response that makes me reconsider…) i.e. it’s a good experience.
I enjoy praying. for a variety of reasons. your saying “it’s pointless” a) won’t diminish the significance of the experience for me and b) simply stands in constrast to my assertion that it definitely has a “point” for me.
in fact, to claim that something is “pointless” suggests that the entity doing the claiming knows what IS NOT POINTLESS.
so, please let me know. what IS NOT POINTLESS? (so that I can reflect on how appealing the rational world you live in really is…)
thanks! for a cool post
