seethrough

the newspaper headlines screamed this week “Monster get’s Life!”

the “monster” concerned is a man who was found guilty of brutally murdering two young girls in Knysna.   And he was given two life sentences by a court this week.

Let me first say that the crime is monstrous.  And grief of those parents tragic and unbearable.

But I’m always interested in people’s strong reaction to these kinds of incidents of violence and crime.  These kinds of crimes are considered extreme and beyond any rational comprehension.  The sense of tragedy and compassion for the parents is totally understandable and appropriate.  But the corresponding reaction of self-righteous indignation that sometimes goes along with it is dangerous - as if we are not capable of monstrous acts, even criminal in nature…

Jesus said Murder is wrong.  that’s a given.  But then he says: “if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement” (Matt 5:22)

I don’t think Jesus is raising the stakes -trying to make it harder and harder to “make it” through judgement day.  I think he’s calling all those who self-righteously say “I have fulfilled the Law” because they have never committed murder, to reflect on where the act of murder begins.  not with a monster.  but with anyone who gives space for anger to take root.

all of us have monstrously angry moments.  i think all of us have the capacity to murder.

we should express great compassion for all who have lost.  and we should also seriously beware the sneaking self-righteousness that will seek to draw lines of distinction between “us” and the “monsters”…

a bruised reed he will not break
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench

i often expend much energy and care looking after something when it’s new and blemish-free.  somehow i think if i really try hard i will be able to protect my new cell phone from it’s first scratch.

and then there’s the awful feeling when it slips from my hands for the first time and surrenders to it’s first scrape across the tar…

somehow i never feel quite the same about it again.  more recently i have got better.  i actually relax a lot more once the first scratch has been sustained.

it’s similar with something that is broken or nearing it’s end.  the peacock feather is valued till it get’s a crease  - and somehow then, it’s not longer worth holding.  it’s blemished.  and the insect that has suffered a blow, writhing on it’s back on the stoep.  so easy to just put it out of it’s misery.

it takes a special kind of spirit to see the bruised, bent, nearly broken reed and not just swing one’s arm down to chop it off at the point of weakness.  it’s a precarious patient process - tipping the candle with a short wick so as to drain the wax without snuffing the flame.

this is a value i must claim

i think the term seeker-sensitive is sick. it misses the point. firstly it’s not consistent with the teaching of Jesus to have a (single) seeker-sensitive service - aimed at reaching seekers. we are all seekers. some of us may have found some help and healing in traditional church organisations, but that doesn’t mean we’re not seeking any longer. also, if “seeker” refers to a person who is not affiliated to a church but who might benefit from association (i.e. they just need some kindness and a welcoming invitation) then EVERY service should be a “seeker-sensitive” service. in fact, everything we do (if we take the words of Jesus seriously - mt 28:18f) should be oriented toward expressing God’s kindness toward the “lost sheep”, the “lost coin”, the “lost lamb”…secondly, i think it’s a sick (read not healthy) church that resorts to seeker-sensitive events. we further reinforce the perception that we are trying to catch people off-guard, wangling them into a religious affiliation or spiritual committment that they weren’t planning to make. i think we are reaping the (rightful) rewards off too many American church-growth books. jesus never asked us to grow churches. he asked us to make disciples. and to do it in the Way that he had - with great patience and compassion. i think the reason we fail to convince seekers to join us is because of the poverty of our spirituality. we don’t take the radical teaching of Jesus seriously.

When John’s (the baptist) followers approach Jesus on his behalf to ask `Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?’ (luke 7:20) Jesus didn’t point to how many church’s he’d planted or how many copies of the scriptures he’d distributed. He referred to Isaiah’s inspiring vision: “The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.” (22)

ok - lot’s of opinion (opinionated opinion) here… what am i suggesting?

• let’s see opportunities to connect with “seekers” as opportunities to learn (and listen) rather than convert them. nine times out of ten they have pretty good reasons why they are shy of religious organisations. let’s listen and learn and pray we don’t inflict the same wounds that were inflicted on them before…
• let’s proceed (as the religious organisation) with much more humility about our importance in God’s overall plan. The Spirit may use us or not use us. we are not indispensable. i do think God doesn’t want to act without partners - so we may be able to play a significant role. but God also has an uncanny way of using dodgy (read non-church-going) partners to get the work done…
• let’s stop trying to convert people and get them to say some “sinner’s prayer” - as if God really cares about short-term quick fixes (I mean do we really ever follow-up and care for those people who “put their hands up”?). Let’s adopt a long-term strategy where people and their lives will be our ongoing concern. whether they come to believe in Jesus or not will be secondary to us actually trying to treat them in a way that would honour Jesus…

work out your salvation with fear and trembling - phil 2:12

today salvation has come to this house - luke 19:9

am i too harsh on us religious organisationalists?

with institutional religion taking on such an awful, authoratative tone in the past century, i think that people have come to resist being told what to do

and then there’s the common resistance amongst protestants to anything Catholic - because of historical fears of unhealthy (and it did sometimes get unhealthy) asceticism. When resistance to attachments leads to all-out rejection of body and pleasure, it has lost the thread of a healthy celebration of creation - balance.

but either way, much of the “christian” spirituality i have experienced spends very little energy inviting people to adopt a learning discipline. discipline has a bad name for the reasons given above, and probably for a whole bunch of other reasons including a simple misunderstanding. when “discipline” is associated with punishment, i believe it has no helpful contribution to a better understanding of God or of the spiritual journey. in fact, talk of punishment (in my not so humble opinion) makes NO helpful contribution to our relationship with God.

but when the word “discipline” is associated with training and learning (the root word disciple means learner or trainee) then I think we can use this word helpfully to guide our way toward better relationship with God. So when the Bible, or some religious person suggests that God is inclined to discipline his children… i believe it is referring to this second kind of discipline - they kind that has to do with training and learning - a restraint or a constraint not for the purpose of punishment but quite the opposite - for the purpose of growth.

freedom is not having no limitations. freedom is found through discipline. e.g. i may be free to run a marathon (unlikely in my case!!!) if i have committed to the discipline of regular training and exercise.

it is in this atmosphere of learning and training that i would introduce the practice of spiritual disciplines. Dallas Willard in The spirit of the disciplines identifies disciplines of abstinence and disciplines of engagement. What can you give up or stop doing that might help you to learn the way of Jesus? and what can you do that will help you learn the way of Jesus?

I was talking to someone this week who struggles with insecurity and a low self-esteem even though she has achieved great things in her life. I suggested some spiritual disciplines. for abstinence i suggested the discipline of rest. in the bible this is called “sabbath” - it simply means in between times for working there needs to be time for not working. but in our driven economy we find it difficult to rest. so a discipline can help us challenge that inner voice that seems to want to drive us to death through endless striving.

for engagement i suggest the discipline of being kind to herself. usually spiritual disciplines are associated with difficulty and removing comforts, but I believe that when people are driven and struggle to receive God’s love and grace - radical kindness is required, and that may start with ourselves (for some of us)!!!

does this approach to spiritual discipline appeal to you or help you in any way?

the mail&guardian reports that Aids-related deaths in South Africa were at 2,319,317 at noon on November 28

what happens when you listen to the voice of the outsider?

well, many things actually. lately we have been listening to the “outside voice” at my church. rather than creating a “special” meeting to do this, i put pressure on to have the voices in our regular evening service of worship. my view is that if we can’t speak about stuff in a worship service, then there’s something wrong.

we asked some questions (in an interview style) of a gay man who is in a same-sex relationship and is engaged to be married. We also interviewed two people who are living with disability. we listened to (via video interview) the voice of a social activisit who doesn’t have an easy relationship with the church (Bono of the band U2). and finally, we watched a clip of Richard Dawkins speaking (of The God Delusion fame) and considered how we might respond to the voice of Science, and particularly the voice of those who are opposed to religion.

so, what happened . interesting! Some people struggled with the concept I think. I got emails asking me why we would ask an “atheist” to speak at our church. Some people boy-cotted the evening, meaning that they are not able to speak about the evening from personal experience of the conversation. Listening to the Gay man produced mised results. Some previously “homophobic” (in their own words) people came away from the interview with new openness. Others expressed a struggle with what the Bible says about the issue. I believe (”people are saying”) there are a group of people who are disconcerted about the topics we have convered, but have not spoken to me directly about that. I really appreciate those who spoke to me or emailed me their concerns.

What was emcouraging was that there were some incredible responses. One man who has really struggled with the church because he is a philosophical thinker and finds many of the ways that the church speaks very simplisitic (i think - i shouldt speak for him!) - anyway - he said that the evening on science and religion was one of the most amazing experiences of church he has ever had! Another person complimented the service in this way: “You manage to take a huge subject and not simplify it yet give understanding of it. Simultaneously you manage to encourage and challenge people to be open, to let go of fear and even trust a little more. You have amazing ability to get to the crux of the matter and you communicate with great clarity!”

to sum up:  what happens when a community of faith listens to outside voices… a lot happens!  There’s vigorous debate both in the earshot of the “pastor” and amongst ordinary members of the church… people get talking.  there’s conversation - lively interaction.  disagreement happens and people clarify and confirm what it is they believe - and more importantly - what is important and what is not so important.  the community is challenged to reflect on what they are “for” as well as what they are “against”…

i’d say, what happens is that a community of faith comes alive!  one thing i can assure you is that over the past month, if you checked the pulse of the St John’s community, you’d find that we’re alive!!!

i interviewed a gay man on sunday night as a part of our church’s commitement to listening to “outside voices”…

perhaps the most moving part of the whole thing was an email I received from the person’s mother on monday morning:

Dear Barry,

We hope this finds you well. We are Stefano’s parents and we just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for asking Stef to speak at church last night. We so badly wanted to be there but having just recently been down it was not possible. I know he was extremely nervous which in itself shows just how important this opportunity was to him, because as you probably already have realised, Stef is normally very confident and outspoken!!

The reaction he received after the service was so very heartwarming. If even only one person was helped in coming to terms with their sexuality and if only one person’s perception of GLBT people was changed then it was well worth it, because i firmly believe that education is the key to change.

Stefano & Charl may have told you that we came to a service when we were in PE a few weeks ago. We enjoyed it very much although it was very different to a Catholic Mass!! The most important thing is that our precious boys are happy at St.John’s and the fact that they feel welcome and comfortable is all that matters to us. We would like to thank you once again for embracing all people…

there are those who would say that when you befriend a gay or lesbian person, you lose your objectivity - so that you are no longer able to make a good ethical judgement regarding same-sex relationships… the unfortunate implication is that friendship will always get in the way of a faithful spiritual life. but compassion is by definition not an “objective” stance. I have previously argued that objectivity is over-rated. compassion takes sides. it stands in solidarity with people. compassion is less concerned with being right and more concerned with what it might mean to be kind. in answer to an email from a colleague who is desperately concerned about the future well-being of the church i wrote the following prayer:

may we never make a choice based on fear! (and especially as the community of faith - we should know better!)

may we always know more clearly, and speak more joyfully, on what we are FOR than what we are against.

may we have the God-given confidence to stand alone, if necessary, when many have been conformed to the ways of this world!

may we live to see the end of the church and the birth of the Kin’dom.

and may we always surrender control in favour of standing alonside the dis-empowered!

we overcame the fear of power and the power of fear
to liberate slaves when godly men quoted scripture to justify their profits
to affirm the voices of women who speak with the blessing of the Holy Spirit
(and in spite of Paul’s scriptural prohibitions)
to bless the remarriage of those who have found life and love again
after the trauma of the failure of their marriage
to proclaim the dignity and humanity of every person
even when power found scriptural basis for discrimination and domination

we will overcome fear and power again
and in Jesus name!

I am a friend of Gay and Lesbian people. If their choices make them sinners (and I’m not saying that they do), then I’m a Friend of Sinners. Crucify me!

The tough thing for them is that they have to deal with being friendly toward a big sinner themselves…

(tonight I will be interviewing a Gay man as a part of a series of conversations inviting the church to listen with compassion to “voices from the outside”. If you pray, pray that we will learn to listen with compassion to the voices that are marginalised in our culture and society… I pray that the church will offer leadership on how to handle the vast challenges of diversity and conflict in this shrinking global village…)

al my kinders (afrikaans for “all my children”) is a phrase that has become commonplace in our home recently. ruben is 2 and a bit, and with the arrival of his sister, cate, has had to share his parents’ attention. elaine, the mother of my two children, has taken to having both of them on her lap and to reassuring ruben with the phrase “al twee my kinders” (both of my children) but ruben has shortened it to al my kinders… now, whenever he is sitting near his mother and his sister he proudly proclaims: al my kinders!!!

jesus is reported to have said once: “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (matthew’s gospel, chapter 7)

so what’s this thing about God’s Justice needing to be placated, propitiated, etc. ?

If we, who are not perfect parents, know how to accomodate the whims and insecurities of our young children, how much more is a Heavenly God able to do such “accomodation” - and even more….? I think some of us haven’t even begun to grasp the extent of care that is available to all creation…

I’ve been following a discussion about a how three influential leaders of a ministry called “Exodus” - which was committed to helping Gay and Lesbain people “come out” of a homosexual lifestyle - have publically withdrawn from the work, stating that they no longer believe that it is healthy to try to change people’s sexual orientation… If you’re interested in reading further: go here
One of the common arguments amongst Christians who have accepted that Gay and Lesbian people really do have a different sexual orientation is the “Love the sinner, Hate the sin” position. (other’s take the position that there is no such thing as a homosexual orientation - otherwise you have to explain why God would have created people like that!)

But I’m wondering how I can separate “homosexual orientation” from “homosexual activity”? i mean, what is a sexual orientation if it’s not (at some point) going to be acted upon?

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