my friend was telling me today about his (or was it his wife’s) pet tortoise that got attacked by a bird and lost an eye and one of his legs…
his name is lucky!
but what does it mean to say that someone is lucky? i often with a person “good luck” as they prepare to tackle difficult conversation or leave on a long trip.
a few weeks ago i was sitting in a group of people who were speaking about relationships and marriage. we were all offering our thoughts on what we thought made marriage work - and not work. And as people spoke, I couldn’t help but think that elaine (the person I am married to) and I are just lucky.
it’s easy to pontifiate and offer sagely advice when things are going well for you. but circumstances can so easily change. people who get divorced often desperately try to work out what went wrong. And people who have been married for years are quick to identify the keys to a successful marriage.
but i’m beginning to think that some people are just lucky. they find each other and things kind of click. they have their moments, but most of the time being together is good and healthy and marriage is kind to them. i’m not so sure that elaine and I have made a go of our marriage so much because of us - we have been very fortunate that there is a sense of contentment and settledness that has descended on both of us. i don’t think we should take too much credit for that!
and that’s where this thought is headed. i’m thinking that people who are doing “well” - who have been married “successfully” for years and are still happy together, should be careful of assuming they did things “right” - as if they are solely responsible for their success. Just as people whose relationships fail also might be kind to themselves - acknowledging the many unknowns and unexpected things that contributed to the relationship ending.
i’m not saying i don’t acknowledge the important place of taking responsibility in a committed relationship. just that we should walk a little humbly when things are going well!
your thoughts?
(*the title of this post comes from the title of a recent book by Brian McClaren.)
One of the reasons I think I enjoy reading Brian McClaren is the resonance I experience as I read. For some time I have ventured into the realm of the ancient practices and spiritual disciplines of our shared Christian tradition. I have some people calling me New Age when I teach people about Centering Prayer. Two years back, during Lent we gave out prayer beads (resembling a rosary. but with only six beads reflecting 6 spiritual values which we focused on through the 6 weeks of Lent). There was a great risk that people would reject the concept due to the prejudicial aversion to anything “Catholic”.
This latest book is such an encouragement to me to continue in this direction I have been exploring. One, for my own growth, to explore deeply in the ancient wisdom. and two, for our shared life in Christian community - to trust that we do indeed need to rediscover our lost heritage.
In the first few pages of the book, McClaren recalls a conversation with a scientist relating to why books on spirituality - esp. books on Buddhism - are so much more popular than books on Christianity. The scientist suggests that perhaps this is because Buddhism presents itself as a way of life and Christianity as a system of belief.
The challenge for us followers of Christ is to rediscover our faith as a way of life.
So much energy has been expended on trying to establish orthodox (correct) belief. But scripture is plainly clear about only one thing. A life will be measured by the fruit it bears. A life of love, generosity and compassion will get Yahweh’s attention. “Whatever you did to the least of these brothers and sisters of mine…” The fruit of the Spirit - qualities or values that will shape and be reflected in a good person’s life - are things that do not need to be debated because “there is no law against such things”.
The problem with the term Spiritual Disciplines (although I still like the word discipline) is that people have the connotation of discipline as it relates to punishment. McClaren chooses to speak about Spiritual Practices. It’s a good clarifying revision. What we need are things we can practice: generosity, kindness, faithfulness. And we will need a lot of practise to make progress and grow in these new ways of living.\
We have been afraid, and so we have tended to hold on to things very tightly. It’s going to take courage - and practise - to begin to live with generosity!
We have become (in the west) very individualistic. It’s going to take practise to rediscover the joy and benefits (for ourselves and others) of choosing to live in community.
We live in a world of fickel consumers. Faithfulness will be challenge for us who are so accustomed to more choices than we can handle.
We have been trained to ask “What’s in it for me?” It’s going to take time to learn the way of love, which asks different questions and finds it’s motivation in very different places.
I’m definitely committed to finding my way again: to finding a simple rythym of spiritual practices that help me to feel that I am following - in a tangible way in my daily life - the one who I call Teacher.
And I am gently - but insistently - going to encourage the people who I pastor to commit to some practices in their daily life that give concrete expression to the things they say they believe!
i’m struggling with the fact that many of my contemporaries seem to be dreaming their futures in countries other than our own.
there are just so many reasons to go. i really want to believe that i will stay (no matter what) but hey, you never know. never say never.
but, if I’m going to stay, then i want to stay well. i don’t want to stay, but full of cynicism, negativity and pessimism. I want to stay with hope. I want to stay, with a confidence that I have something to contribute to the country of my birth.
same with the community of faith of my birth. i am fast realising that people of my age are not commonly found in churches today. we are a scarce commodity. not more valuable for our scarcity unfortunately. the generation of which I am a part has largely lost faith in organised religion.
there are just so many reasons to leave. i really want to believe that i will stay (no matter what) but hey, you never know. never say never.
but, if I’m going to stay, then i want to stay well. i don’t want to stay, but full of cynicism, negativity and pessimism. I want to stay with hope. I want to stay, with a confidence that I have something to contribute to the community of faith i call home.
so here’s to engagement - to growing confidence that will provide the platform from which to reach out - to keep on giving and investing and contributing and venturing…
and here’s to good news - the stories that are so often be neglected in our negative and previously-privileged milleu.
and here’s to faith - that desperately scarce commodity in a world of bad news stories. faith is to keep on in the face of the barage of reasons not to!
and lastly, here’s to compassion - a distinctive response to bad and painful and disappointing news in a world of pessimism and negativity. it might sound cliched to say “let’s pray about these situations” but if prayer is primarily about learning the heart of God (and not trying to influence the heart of God) then compassion will always be the marked and distinctive response of the community that bears faith and hope and charity.
here’s to this planet and this body, this town and this country, this place and this space…
right now,
and forever.