seethrough

so the Tempter says to a Searching hungry man “why don’t you turn these stones into bread?”

and the incredible thing is the temptation isn’t the satisfaction of bread filling a hungry stomach.  Ah, it’s much bigger than that…

hungry man has been thinking about people who are hungry.  more than that, he has been feeling - experiencing a little taste of life on the other side of the bread-line.

hunger has a way of stripping a person.

and there are thoughts of relief - the precious, powerful, popular relief of real bread in the hands of the needy.  A worthy project.  what a position to slip into - the One who brings bread for the hungry.

We know the story: social worker turned Politician.  and a land-slide Victory… and the rest is history

repeating itself.

because the only thing we learn from history
is that we don’t
(steve turner)

so i preach this bready sermon - practical, offering simple and hands-on advice for everyday living.  Cut the heavy theology.  Bring on the Hope.  Happy time are here again.  And everyone loves it.  one person reckons it’s my “best yet”…

and i wonder.  do i keep giving them the bread they want?

or do i try serve up the “living bread” - the one that gets broken…

it’s not the popular story.  not regular history,

repeating itself.

a wicked twist:  the hero gives himself up, and dies.

awkward.

no bread for the hungry.

failure.

but also peace… it’s like he thinks everything’s gonna be ok…

i stumbled on a thought while reading Rob Bell - Velvet Elvis.  in a section entitled “yoke” he speaks about his conviction that the bible didn’t fall out of the sky.  he begs “us” to once and for all drop the “manual-for-life” analogy and recognise that the bible was written in a real time, in a real place, and by real people.

i like what  he’s saying.

that’s when i stumbled onto the thought…  we (in the christian community, usually called the church) struggle to get people to do the application part of the deal.  we’re good at talking.  our theology (read theory) is awe-inspiring in it’s comprehensive coverage of all things pertaining to the life of a christ-follower.  doctoral theses have been written about things that even Jesus doesn’t understand.  (in fact I think Jesus struggles to remember the correct spelling for ecclesiology, but anyway…)  as I was saying awe-inspiring theory.

but when it comes to application - to the integration of our theory into our lives - we often fall short.

could it be that the growing (and commonly held) perception that the bible is somehow a mysterious and magical book of timeless truths that just dropped out of the sky (i.e. NOT originating from real places, real times and real people) is actually at the heart of this problem with integrating biblical truth with everyday living?

i agree with Rob Bell that what makes the Bible valuable, significant and quite unique is that it records the stories of people seeking to live out their faith in the midst of the challenges of their particular times, circumstances.  Perhaps more importantly it also records the personal challenges of individuals in their journeys of faith - investigating their very particular and personal challenges - from anger and murder to sexual brokenness and adultery, from failure and faithlessness to weakness and hopelessness.

what may help people to marry theory and practice - biblical teaching and faithful living - is approaching the Bible with a fresh openness - trusting that it’s greatest gift is that it records the stories of faith honestly - fear and failure, hope and triumph.  But always - it’s a story about application.  It’s always about making faith work in everyday circumstances!!!

we need real faith for real life.  and we need to read the Bible in a way that encourages rubber meeting road.

on this blog i think i write more than i probably should on the topic of the so-called spiritual life. which raises a huge dilemma for me: if we assume that integrity and wholeness flow from a rejection of unhelpful dualism (drawing a disctinction between the physical and the spiritual) and that a helpful “spirituality” will be one that takes seriously questions of body, mind AND spirit (Dallas Willard would add to that list, community or relationships and group all four categories of human life under the heading “SOUL”) then what shall we call that journey? to refer to is as a spiritual life or a spiritual journey fails to acknowledge the new focus on body and spirit, physical and spiritual, together (along with other things categories that might need to be included in a wholistic model of healthy living)

what do you suggest?

at first i just dropped the adjective “spiritual” and spoke about the journey or about life. but that doesn’t do proper justive to the sense of intentionality expressed by the phrase “spiritual life”. usually when that phrase is used, it refers to a more intentional approach to spirituality. so how do we speak about an intentional journey that embraces growing wholeness in all of these important aspects of being human.

If the word soul can be distinguished from the word spirit then perhaps “the soul journey” could describe this important integrating journey seeking wholeness through greated wholeness…

do not think me gentle
because I speak in praise
of gentleness, or elegant
because I honour the grace
that keeps this world. I am
a man crude as any,
gross of speech, intolerant,
stubborn, angry, full
of fits and furies. That I
may have spoken well
at times, is not natural.
A wonder is what it is.

(A warning to my readers by Wendell Berry)

having faith seems to be a little bit like having Soul. what it Soul? it’s hard to define - but cool people who have Soul will quickly tell you if someone has it, or not.

having faith seems to be similar for many people I talk to. they aren’t able to easily define what Faith is, but they want to have it, and it’s assumed having more of it is always a good thing. so i’m wondering what is the substance of faith?

recently i did some reflections on the Fruit of the Spirit (the bible: letter to the galatians 5:22) - the author (paul?) uses the analogy of fruit to describe the qualities or values of the good life. faithfulness is on the list, and as I reflected on that i began to wonder about the relationship between having faith and being faithful. at first (mostly because of how I have been trained to think about faith) i assumed they were different things. but I am beginning to think that they are precisely the same. having faith will be quickly seen in a person that is faithful. a faithful person expresses faith in Ways or Values that they are faithful to - even when the results don’t seem to be going the way they would prefer…

Last week news broke about Mother Teresa. A book is being published - a collection of correspondence spanning her whole life which reflects that she “felt abandoned by God“. TIME’s article describes the contrast between the cheery face she portrayed to the world and the personal anguish she experienced in her own spirit. She is quoted in a letter as saying “Jesus has a very special love for you. [But] as for me–The silence and the emptiness is so great–that I look and do not see,–Listen and do not hear.”(1979)

this raises some very interesting questions for the church about the nature of spiritual experience, whether we can expect joy in the journey, etc. Also it raises questions about sainthood and what it means to be a saint. Did Teresa lack integrity by hiding her anguish and presenting a mask of happiness and contentment? Or does this revelation about her personal experience of God further emphasise her piety?

I have never been offended by the discovery that a saintly person has darkness in their life.  In fact, i appreciate the discovery for the way in which is confirms that there is no easy way to God.  All of us who are human are going to have to walk through the mist, and sometimes through the mud.  But more than that, this new insight into Teresa’s life sheds light on my earlier questions about Faith and faithfulness. I was brought up to believe that having faith involved believing certain things - heaven knows what you were (or are) supposed to do if you honestly and truthfully DON’T believe those certain things… The most common problem with this understanding though is that Faith becomes like having Soul - we believe it exists, but how to nail it down? how to get some of this stuff?

Teresa offers us a simpler and more accessible understanding of Faith - having faith is expressed in being faithful.  “Do I have faith?” can be rephrased with “Have I been faithful?”  What this means - for me - is that believing (mental agreement) is of lesser importance.  I’m convinced about some things… some things I just can’t bring myself to believe… but Keeping the Faith is - more and more for me - not so much about trying to convince my head to believe things I don’t believe, but rather about being faithful to Values - a Way - that I trust (no matter how I feel) is the way I want to go…

you could summarise it this way: whether God exists or not - i want to be faithful to the ways of gentleness and peace and compassion…  and faithfulness to these ways will not be determined by how close i feel to God, but rather by the conviction that these are the Values I want to define my life.

did you read my previous remarks on this subject? (part one)

part two is actually covered by some remarks i made the other night here : People who want to appeal to “absolute truth” (or just Truth, with a capital T) might consider the comparative benefits of pursuing the value of Openness - which I have provisionally defined as my commitment to always ensure (to the best of my ability) that there is space for people around me to speak. While Absolute Truth is proving to be hard to nail down, Growing Awareness is a spiritual discipline that might produce surprisingly good results for people longing after Truth…

ok, so part three…

(more…)

i have been thinking lately about how little we really actually change. I began writing on this blog with the value of Integrity as a theme. By Integrity, I mean an integration of all the things that have been broken, separated and polarised - at great expense to the health of humanity (well, let’s just say, at great expence to my health adn wholeness).

One could say this thing about being “open” and “real” is a bit of “hobby-horse” - it’s my little soap-box.

And then the other day I remembered an experience from my early childhood. My family were in the car on the way to church, where my parents were quite involved members. My dad was a senior leader… He and I were having an argument in the car which was not resolved when we arrived at the church. He wanted to stop the argument as we got out of the car, but I wanted to carry on arguing - citing “honesty” as my reason… “if we’re going to shout at each other in the privacy of our car, why shouldn’t we shout at each other in front of fellow church members?”

(by the way, the photo is not me - it’s of my dad, Guy Marshall)

I remembered that incident with such vividness, and the effect was to make me ask - has anything really changed? I’m still on about the same old hobby-horse that I was when I was a teenager, 25 years ago!!!

But then I had another thought - is this my Voice? Is this the thing that I’m being asked to say, with my life?

Perhaps for some people this message simply isn’t relevant. They are healthy and balanced in the area of Integrity and so they find my dwelling on the topic a little anonying. But perhaps, for people who have struggled with the Dualism that has severed their lives (and all of life) into binary categories of good and evil, right and wrong, light and dark, private and public etc.. - this is the word of encouragement that they need to hear. Perhaps, also, there are faith communities, that need to hear this word. A challenge to wholeness and integrity, where faith and life, religion and politics, secular and sacred… have been dangerously kept apart…

Am I finally realising my humble significance in this life - not to do extraordinarily great things - just to speak (live) the message that I’ve been asked to speak/live, to embody a value that many of us need to embrace, to bring a gentle challenge in one aspect of life where there is imbalance and unhealth?

am I discovering my Voice? (my dad would say I discovered it far too early…!!!)

what I like about the idea of finding my voice is that it helps me to have a limited, and therefore hopefully a humble view of my significance. the thought also makes me wonder about other people’s Voices? People I respect and admire - I wonder if they have discovered their Voice… Perhaps they are speaking, but are yet to stumble on the simple realisation that this is the thing they are called to say…

Have you discovered your Voice? (and, do you feel confidence to speak with it?)

Yes and No

if by “Christian” you mean a person who has put their faith in Jesus Christ, then ok, yes, I am a Christian.

but there are so many problems with the term “Christian” that I’d rather use a different way to speak about my faith. I’m not very original on this one! Authors like Gordon MacDonald, Trevor Hudson, Dallas Willard and others have for some time preferred the term “Christ-follower”. The truth is that the term “Christian” has become associated with so much that is definitely not what I have faith in, that it doesn’t seem appropriate for me to use the term anymore.

a few reasons:

1. the term “Christian” is static. it sounds like a destination or an achievement. the early followers of Jesus (after he had left them) were most commonly referred to as “people of the Way” (e.g. Acts 9:2) This, along with other New Testament terms, like “believer”, are far more active. Christ-follower is another term which expresses that this is a decision which will impact on every moment, every decision, every circumstance… It’s the very opposite of static.
2. the term “Christian” has become associated with moral judgement. When you ask some very faithful Church people “Are you a Christian?” they actually hesitate before answering! The reason is fairly noble. Because “Christian” has so often been associated with moral judgement - it almost feels arrogant to proclaim proudly “I am a Christian!” - it’s almost like saying “I am a very good person!”
   I don’t want to have to hesitate when asked about my faith in Jesus.
   I also don’t want to be misunderstood as arrogant. So, I prefer the question “have you decided to follow Jesus?” or “have you felt the need to follow Jesus?” The answer is simple and clear. There is no judgement. It’s a matter of fact question about a person’s faith allegience. I am a follower of Jesus - a Christ-follower. And proud to say so!
3. In a similar vein - the term “Christian” doesn’t say what it means. Just like some people try to “Christen” their children, when coming for infant baptism (what does it mean to “Christen” someone????) in the same way Christian is somehow associated by some as a default option that has to do with cultural practices and family traditions. Now I have no objection to leading a funeral service of anyone! (even if they have no church connections) but assuming that because you are not Muslim or Jewish or Buddhist, you are therefore “Christian” makes the term something that has no attraction for me at all. Just as there are probably nominal Muslims and nominal Jews and nominal Buddhists, there are most certainly nominal Christians who regard the label as something that defines them along with which sports club they belong to and the charities that they support. No problem. They are welcome to the term then. I am not interested in nominal Christianity.

I experience Jesus as the most challenging teacher and formidable Leader. He is the Passionate Guide who opens the heavens and lets me glimpse the Dream of God for all creation. That Kin’dom vision - that powerful experience of Grace and Love has captured my soul. It’s everything now. Others may experience it differently, but for me it’s all or nothing. I can’t think about that all-embracing Dream of God and then turn around and go back to things “as they were”. Nothing will every be the same again… I’m a believer! I’m a sinner with a second chance. I’m a privileged partner with God (only because he invited me). I’m loved and accepted completely. And it’s only just beginning to sink in. The all emracing arms of a Loving God, reaching out to all creation with gentleness and compassion - it keeps me awake at night!

(I wonder how this post sounds to the reader… I don’t think of myself as a “jesus freak” kind of person, and yet reading this might make a skeptic take a few steps back… I just think that passionate faith in Jesus, his teaching, his example, his life, his death, his Way… doesn’t have to equate to a Bible-punching, gay-bashing, bigoted, closed-minded life. I am passionate about Jesus, and it’s a head AND a heart thing.)

So, I will answer to the term “Christ-follower”. Unashamedly. He’s touched my heart, and he’s challenged my thinking… most importantly he’s got me reconsidering what I want from this life. That’s why I have decided to follow…

Someone asked for a copy of my Good Friday sermon. You can find it here: Good Friday Sermon 2007

i’ve had a Task in my Outlook Task-list for some time now. it has no Due Date for completion. it’s just one word: “Write”

so i’ve decided, after some months, to get started…

there are a few values that have begun to shape my life. i find myself increasingly committed to them. lately i’ve been feeling that i’d like to write about them. For me, thinking comes after speaking - I speak before I think! somehow it’s in the speaking (esp if it’s a conversation) that ideas are born and values are clarified.

Some of the things i’d like to write about and explore are:

living sustainably - seeing the journey through, i’m interested in sticking around for the long-run. so many really good people have burned themselves out - not because they had the wrong ideas or intentions - but because they allowed the demands of activity to drain them of more than is possible for one person to give.
living transparently - risking living a see-through life and exposing the hidden and speaking the unspoken. I am curious to explore what happens when the personal and the public are allowed to mingle and wander into each other “territory”.
integrity - the integration of “opposites” that are the result of centuries of dualistic thinking…

• integration of my body life and sexuality into my life as a whole
• integration of spirituality into my life as a whole
• integrating values that I hold in principle into my life in practise - bringing theory and practice together.

so, I expect that i will want to write personal things and explore (even interrogate) myself. I will want to interrogate assumptions - my own, those of the environment in which i live - to see whether they stand up to scrutiny. I want to ask if our “taken-for-granted’s” deserve their taken-for-granted status. And I will look forward to participation from others who may offer words that help support and encourage these values.