I have decided to join the “Thursdays in Black” campaign. It started many years ago in South America and has spread around the world. I was introduced to it by a colleague who works with Diakonia Council of Churches - www.diakonia.org.za. The campagin invites people to wear black on Thursdays “towards a world without rape and violence” - especially violence against women. Since discovering that one in four south african men (in my province) confessed to having raped a women (read my reflection here) I have been keen to explore ways to both heighten awareness and reduce the threat that our society is to women and children.
The Medical Research Council (MRC) in SA published shocking findings after research conducted amongst a representative sample of men in south africa. the research was done in the Eastern Cape (where I live) and also in Kwazulu Natal (where i used to live).
The results suggest that 1 in 4 men surveyed admitted to having raped a woman.
(you can read an article about the findings here: Mail & Guardian article)
I sat stunned as I read. I’ve always heard statistics about rape and violence against women in south African society, but this statistic left me reeling. What is wrong with us? What is wrong with masculinity? Even old-fashioned ideas about maleness suggests it’s the mens role to “protect” the so-called weaker sex. What kind of protection are we offering?
I am not in the 1 in 4 category. I have not raped a woman. Which puts me in the 3 in 4 group… But there’s no comfort in being in that group for me. I’m asking myself, what have we 3 done to make it possible for the 1 in4 to do what they have done?
How have we colluded with questionable ideas about being “men”?
How have we failed to speak out against attitudes and actions that are not respectful of women?
How have we failed to act - holding our fellow men accountable for their actions?
How can it be that 1 in 4 men have raped a women, and the other 3 know nothing about it? What is our (what is my) responsibility?
I keep asking myself what am I going to do?
I’m calling men to kneel with me. Not to show their “might” but to humble themselves and show their heart!
I’m going to organise a meeting where men can listen to the experiences of women through the eyes of a person working with rape victims every day.
I’m going to prepare a talk entitled “why I am a feminist.” and present it before National Women’s Day in August.
But these things are not enough. the threat to women is too great to simply talk about it.
Pray tell me, what can we do?
[Click on picture to view enlarged version]
if the focus of prayer is getting what we ask for…
if the motivation for religious devotion is about controlling our lives and our environment… (e.g. being healed from cancer, avoiding an accident…)
if the heart of worship is keeping God happy so we can be happy…
then it seems that we have forsaken God for a puppy dog. a great big loveable puppy dog in the sky who (sometimes) sits when we say “Sit!” and when he doesn’t listen - or do as we ask - we are incesnsed. and threaten take him to dog-training.
or should that read god-training?
prayer has become our hit-and-miss attempts at getting puppy god to jump through hoops.
and worship is giving him the treats he loves in hope that he’ll love us best of all, and perform better tomorrow at dog-training…
a big part of the teaching of Jesus that I seem to have missed is the simple invitation to SEE what is already happening. Jesus says (repeatedly) that the Kingdom of God (or heaven) is:
near
nearly here
upon us
in our hearts
(I understand the “Kingdom of God” or the “Kingdom of Heaven” to refer to Life lived God’s Way.)A few implications of this might be:
God isn’t doing what we ask him. he’s doing as he likes. if our prayers aren’t “answered” maybe it’s because we haven’t been in the least bit concerned with what God is doing. What is God doing is the key question for us to ask in any situation.
The Kingdom isn’t going to come someday. It’s already present. If we’re not content (and the kingdom is arriving) either we don’t really want things God’s Way or we are struggling to perceive the Kingdom. (Good chance we are struggling to perceive the reality of God’s Kingdom in the same way his disciples struggled to “get” the parables… the reality of the Kingdom is not dependent on our ability to perceive it. but our experience of the Kingdom may be severely affected by our ability to SEE it and BELIEVE in it.)
Prayer isn’t so much asking for things as it is asking for the ability to SEE things - the things we’re not seeing and the things we need to see!
Worship is eye-opening wonder. When a vision of the Kingdom - Life lived God’s Way - is revealed. Where the curtain is pulled back and the glorious light of God’s glory is revealed. And we are inspired to continue believing and giving ourselves to this Kingdom (the one that is hard to see and recognise, at first…)
I suggest you link to the John Pilger article on the M&G website. He describes how this Paul Weinberg photo has given him strength over the years - to continue to stand up to the powers of force and violence and control.
He quotes Milan Kundera, who writes: “The struggle of people against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.”
That is the work of faithful spirituality. This is what Jesus does with the disciples who are so quick to forget. In the face of horrific violence they forget his life and teaching, his principles and his foot-washing example… They forget in the face of fear.
Fear has a way of doing that - making us forget what got us started on this path in the first place.
Jesus encourages the two disciples on the road to Emmaus to remember the long story of God’s faithfulness - as a way of helping them to overcome the fear of their immediate circumstances. “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!” (Luke 24:25)
We were once moved by a vision of the Kingdom - a kingdom of peace and justice. A place of respect and dignity. Jesus painted the picture, in the long tradition of the prophets, of a time when the lion would lie down with the lamb. And he encouraged his disciples to pray “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. It was powerful and moving vision of a transformed world where power was used to free and build, not constrain and punish.
But power has a way of wanting more power. And control doesn’t let go of control easily. It fights and beats and maims and kills. It lies and exagerates and holds on to the bitter end. Why not? It’s got everything to lose! If control loses control then it’s lost everything!
So it beats us into submission and helps us to forget.
We forget the vision of Jesus - the kingdom of God.
We forget that God has called us to be partners in freeing people to live abundant lives.
We forget that the church and the bible and everthing religious will return to dust in the face of the Reign of God. They are not ends in themselves but simply means to an end - the purpose and will of God.
But, frustratingly, God will not move to control things toward the Kingdom. (of course God could take charge on this earth and establish the Kingdom in an instant.) To take control would be to adopt the way of control - which always leads to the protection of that control. If God were to take charge - he would have to continue to take charge. Rather he resists taking charge. He resists resorting to the way of violence. In stead God surrenders to the punishment violent and controlling people deserve - he recieves the punishment controlling people will always enforce and impose on those who refuse to submit to their control - their “word”. He does not so much speak a “word” - his non-violent resistance IS the Word - the Word of God for us: the eternal encouragement of God to trust the way of invitation andself-giving love, over powerful attempts to control and force history into submission and obedience.
When will we get it?
God does not force us to obey? He will not and will never. The Cross is the most powerful symbol of surrender to the violence of other that we will ever be given.
I am a delegate to my church’s Conference in Cape Town this week. This morning we discussed various resolutions regarding same-sex relationships. While we were able to strongly affirm and encourage ongoing support and minsitry to gay and lesbian people (see a position), the church does not seem able to recognise the relationships of gay and lesbian people, even if they are committed and faithful relationships between two people. This obviously includes an unwillingness to allow any minister of our church to become an officer under the new Civil Unions legislation of our country. We asked that even just one symbolic person in each region be given permission to register, but this was rejected.
a few of us gathered after lunch to reflect on the discussion. i stood next to an older colleague who’s daughter is lesbian. across the group stood a contemporary who’s brother is gay. i thought of another older colleague who told me of his recent trip to London where he was able to celebrate the marriage of his daughter to her partner, a woman. i was filled with sadness for those whose family members and close friends are so deeply affected by the church’s inability to embrace them as fully human and capable of whole and healthy relationship in line with their sexual orientation.
i enjoyed reading Matt’s comments on prayer: Prayer: What’s the point and also some of the comments he received. While I find engagement with so-called “Atheists” energising and fascinating (they have usually thought abour their position far more thoroughly than most Theists have…) I am always curious about the experience of defining oneself by a negation - A-Theist… i.e. NOT-Theist. As a Christ-follower I define myself by what I am for. I am for the values that are embodied in the life and teaching of Jesus. An Atheist, presumably believes in something. I’m curious to know what an “A-Theist” has faith in (it’s not God, of course…)
here are my thoughts, posted on Matt’s blog:
you guys certainly spend a lot of time (and much passion) arguing against something that you regard as pointless.i think it’s pointless to argue against something that is pointless.
i’m wondering what you are FOR. how would you define your position if it weren’t for religion? i.e. what is an “atheist” without theism?
have you factored into your reasoning the role of experience? for some, REALITY is not primarily constituted by physical existence alone. when i speak to you i have FAITH that there is something out there that i am interacting with. I have no proof of that. it could all be part of my own dream. but what I can’t deny is the EXPERIENCE of interaction, conversation, relationship. i would argue that my conversation with you and Prayer require exactly the same kind of “faith” - neither of them are more real or provable than the other.
the more significant thing for me is: what do i experience through the act of communication… (whether it is with you or with “God”)
i am enjoying writing this comment. it helps me to clarify my own position and it holds the possibility of surprising conversation (a response that makes me reconsider…) i.e. it’s a good experience.
I enjoy praying. for a variety of reasons. your saying “it’s pointless” a) won’t diminish the significance of the experience for me and b) simply stands in constrast to my assertion that it definitely has a “point” for me.
in fact, to claim that something is “pointless” suggests that the entity doing the claiming knows what IS NOT POINTLESS.
so, please let me know. what IS NOT POINTLESS? (so that I can reflect on how appealing the rational world you live in really is…)
I suggest you link to the 
thanks! for a cool post